2030年
孩子们 如果我不是小有点运气 Kids, I never would have
就永远也遇不到你们的老妈 met your mother without a little luck.
应该说是沾了爱尔兰人的运气 Specifically, the luck of the Irish.
圣帕特里克节 St. Patrick's Day.
爱尔兰传统节日
节日习俗之一 大游行
每年的这一天 纽约所有的年轻人 The one day of the year when every young person
都会奔出家门做一些疯狂的事 in New York goes out and gets crazy.
非常疯狂 Really crazy.
好吧 可能没疯狂到这份上 Okay. Maybe not that crazy.
但到了2008年 我们都玩够了 好吧 我们中的大多数 But by 2008, we'd all had enough. Well, most of us.
2008年
节日习俗之二 穿戴爱尔兰国旗颜色(绿色)的衣服
谁想亲亲巴尼•斯通 Who wants to kiss the Barney Stone?
改自Blarney Stone巧言石 爱尔兰旅游胜地 传说亲吻此石可得到雄辩的口才
- 看是谜语人 - 才不是谜语人呢 -Look it's the Riddler. -That's not the Riddler.
蝙蝠侠中的经典反派角色 穿绿色西装
他是小绿人甘比 甘比 等下我们能拿你打个结吗 That's Gumby. Hey, Gumby, can we tie you in a knot later?
美国著名黏土动画角色 为绿色
这不是NBA中膝盖受伤的板凳球员吗 Hey! NBA player sidelined by a knee injury.
随便你们怎么笑 All right, laugh all you want,
但这是我的圣帕特节幸运西装 没错 but this is my lucky St. Patty's Day suit. Yup.
干洗的时候可是洗掉了一大堆污渍呢 I have dry-cleaned many a stain off of this baby.
你知道它为什么幸运吗 因为它是绿色的 You know why it's lucky? 'Cause it's green.
代表"出发"的颜色 我们"出发"吧 The color of go, as in "Let's."
巴尼 我们之前商量了一下 Barney, we talked this over
今年我们不过圣帕特里克节了 and we're not doing St. Patty's Day this year.
拜托 我们... Come on. Let's...
你们真... Are you...
天啊 好吧 Wow, okay.
我觉得我得躺一下 I think I got to lie down.
我们能在你身上打桌球吗 Can we shoot pool on you?
台球桌的颜色 大家都懂的
不行 不能这样 你们这样太没意思了 No, no! Unacceptable. That's so not Raven.
那你们今晚要干什么 Well, what are you going to do instead?
我们刚拿到了新公寓的钥匙 We just got the keys to our new apartment,
所以我们打算去那 so we're gonna go over there
把那张画挂上 来一个桌游之夜 and hang that painting, have board game night.
想玩的话一起来啊 You're welcome to join us if you want.
桌游之夜吗 Board game night?
桌游之夜 拜托了 Board game night. Come on!
我们一起去喝绿色生啤 灌绿色果冻饮吧 Let's drink green beer. Let's do green Jell-O shots.
你们的圣帕特里克节精神哪去了 Where's your St. Patty's Day spirit?
- 我们在喝绿茶 - 带咖啡因的哦 -We're drinking green tea. -With caffeine.
抱歉 彼得 我们现在是成年人了 Sorry, Peter, we're grown-ups now.
彼得•潘 追寻梦幻岛的童话人物 身穿绿色
再也不能陪着你飞往梦幻岛了 We can't fly off to Neverland with you anymore.
好吧 无所谓 All right, fine.
告诉你们 我要自己去庆祝圣帕特里克节 You know what? I'll celebrate St. Patty's Day by myself.
我不需要你们 你们简直让我生理反胃 I don't need you people. You make me physically ill!
他脸色是有点发绿啊 He did look a little green.
喂 Hello?
圣帕特里克节快乐 Hey, happy St. Patty's Day!
你好吗 没错 好久没见啊 How are you? Yeah. I haven't talked to you forever.
- 谁啊 - 泰德的屁股 -Who is it? -It's Ted's butt.
该死的 我的手机放口袋里一直自动拨号 Damn it! My phone keeps pocket dialing.
今天都有八次了 That's like the 8th time today.
其实 下午两点是我打给泰德的屁股了 In fairness, I did call Ted's butt at like 2:00 this afternoon.
它回电话还真够慢的 It took long enough to call you back.
巴尼 你在哪里 Barney? Where are you?
出租车上 往市区走 In a cab, heading downtown
旁边坐着两个辣妹作为今晚咱俩的约会对象哦 with our hot and sexy dates for the evening.
没错 哥的行动就是这么迅速 Yes, it happens that fast!
我们要去那个俱乐部名叫"下限" 你也跟我们一起去 We're going to that club, Low Point, and you're coming with us.
巴尼 我再说最后一遍... Barney, for the last time...
好吧 我刚刚是不想 All right, I didn't want
当着马修和莉莉面前告诉你 to tell you this in front of Marshall and Lily
因为他们那么老了 because they are old and
还结婚了 对他们来说也没机会了 married and it's too late for them anyway.
但是 泰德 这个世界今晚就会终结 But, Ted, the world is going to come to an end tonight.
没错 你好好想一下 Yes, think about it.
世界终结 诺查丹玛斯的预言 谐音圣母玛利亚 End of the world. Nostradamus. Notre Dame.
诺查丹玛斯 法国古代预言家
圣母大学爱尔兰斗士队 爱尔兰 圣帕特里克节 Fighting Irish. Irish. St. Patrick's Day.
圣母大学的橄榄球队
就是这样 兄弟 这是"世兄"末日 This is it, bro. Bro-pocalypse Now.
原词为Apocalypse 预言大灾难的《启示录》
"绝弟"天劫 Bromageddon.
原词为Armageddon 绝世天劫
泰德 你还年轻 你还单身 Ted, you are young, you're single.
你跟我一起玩会有意思得多的多 You will have so much more fun with me.
难道你真的想把在地球上的最后一晚 Do you really want to spend your last night on Earth
浪费在与马修和莉莉玩桌游上吗 playing board games with Marshall and Lily?
我的手味道好怪 你闻一下 My hands smell weird. Smell this.
嗯 还真是 真新奇 Yeah, they do, that's new.
我五分钟内到 I'll be there in five minutes.
好 很好 Yes! All right!
他来了 泰德是个好男人 He's in. Ted is a great guy.
你肯定会爱上他的 You're going to love him.
于是在2008年3月17日 So, on March 17, 2008,
我去了一个盛大的圣帕特里克节派对 I went to a big St. Patrick's Day party.
这是个明智的决定 因为有趣的是 And it's a good thing I did, because funny story,
你们的老妈当时也在那 your mother was there.
嗨 你见过泰德吗 Hi, have you met Ted?
你好 我是玛丽 Hi, I'm Mary.
你好啊 圣帕特里克节快乐 Hi, happy St. Patty's Day.
我也没见过泰德呢 I haven't met Ted either.
- 我叫斯蒂芬妮 - 你好啊 -I'm Stephanie. -Hi.
哥们 闪开点 斯蒂芬妮归我了 Dude, back off. I called dibs on Stephanie.
行啊 玛丽很正点呢 Okay, Mary's hot.
- 好吧那我要玛丽 - 行啊 -Well, then I want Mary. -Fine.
噢 我明白了 逆向心理学 Oh, I see. Reverse psychology.
那我要定斯蒂芬妮了 弗洛伊德博士 Then I'm sticking with Stephanie, Dr. Freud.
弗洛伊德 奥地利神经学家 精神病医学家 精神分析创始人
好吧 Okay.
- 你更想要哪一个 - 哪个都行 -Which one do you want more? -Either one.
- 那我都要了 - 你是个白痴 -I want them both. -You're an idiot.
说不定我们根本没必要争 And it may be a moot point.
我是说 看样子我们进不去了 I mean, it doesn't look like we're getting in.
- 哥们 - 看看这个 -Dude... -Look at this.
你知道为什么要排队吗 You know why there's a line?
因为我丢下了马修和莉莉 It's because I ditched Marshall and Lily
宇宙现在在惩罚我们了 就是这个原因 and now the universe is punishing us for it, that's why.
哟 Yo.
要多少钱我们才能进去 20刀 40刀 What's it going to cost us to get in here? $20? $40?
哥们儿 拜托 小精灵的脸都被你丢光了 Dude, come on, you're making the wee folk look bad.
小精灵一般都穿绿色
把你那一包金子都给他就好 Just give him your pot of gold.
小精灵一般都有一包金子
就你俩吗 Is it just you two?
别担心 我们不会破坏里面的男女平衡 Don't worry, we're not gonna blow your ratio.
刚好有两个辣妹跟我们一起 We happen to have two very hot girls with us.
我的是那个更辣点的 Mine's the hotter one.
不好意思 伙计们 是这样 Yeah. Sorry, guys. Look,
如果只有你们俩 你们现在就能直接进去 if it was just you two, you can go in right now.
我们这被女孩塞满了 We got nothing but girls in there.
人们都快以为这是拉拉酒吧了 People are gonna start thinking it's a lesbian bar.
能等我们一会儿吗 Would you excuse us for just a minute?
泰德 我要实话实说了 Ted, I'm going to be honest.
我之前说的那个诺查丹玛斯预言完全是在胡扯 I was full of it with that whole Nostradamus thing.
- 不是吧 - 但我开始觉得 -No! -But I am starting to think
今晚这儿肯定要有些大事发生 there is some serious planetary crap going on here tonight.
在纽约夜店史上 Never in the history of New York City nightclubs
从没哪次缺过男人 has there been a shortage of dudes.
就连1883年的男人大短缺时都没这样过 Not even during the great dude shortage of 1883.
我们要甩掉那两个妞 We've got to ditch these girls.
是你把她们一路拖过来的 You dragged them all the way down here.
我又没跟她们订婚 I don't see no ring on this finger.
好吧 等等 All right. Hold on.
不好意思 Excuse me.
里面的女孩比我们带来的还辣吗 Are the girls in there hotter than our dates?
我不知道里面的妞是不是更辣 但是肯定更醉 I don't know if they're hotter, but they're drunker.
嗨起来吧 Rock and roll.
欢迎来到你梦中的新家 老婆大人 Welcome to your new dream home, my lady.
好了好了 你可以放我下来了 All right, all right. You can put me down.
罗宾会觉得我们奇怪的 Robin thinks we're weird.
没有 还好啦 在地铁上这么做的时候才是奇怪 No, it's fine. It was only weird on the subway.
我要去检查看看其他房间里面有没有前主人 I'm going to check the other rooms to see if the previous owners
留下来的免费赠品 left us any free stuff.
我来挂上我们的第一幅艺术品 I'm gonna hang our first piece of art.
看啊 这已经有钉子了 嘿 莉莉 免费的钉子 Oh, look. There's already a nail. Hey, Lil, free nail!
赚到一分 Score!
- 怎么样 - 完美 -How's that? -Perfect.
哎哟 Whoops!
怎么回事 What the...
嗯 Huh.
这也太诡异了 是这钉子有问题吗 Oh. Now, this is ridiculous. Is it the nail?
- 马修 - 是墙太滑了还是什么 -Marshall. -Is the wall slippery or something?
- 马修 - 这儿是不是有风 -Marshall. -Is there a wind
还是有气流什么的 or is there some sort of draft in here?
- 马修 - 怎么了 -Marshall. -What?
你们的公寓是歪的 Your apartment's crooked.
你说什么 What do you mean?
有些事 你不注意的时候完全感觉不到 It was the kind of thing you didn't notice until you noticed it.
可一旦注意到了 你就无法忽视了 But once you did notice it, you couldn't not notice it.
莉莉和马修的新公寓 是歪的 Lily and Marshall's new apartment was crooked.
噢 不 不 不 Oh, no, no, no!
- 哦不不哦不可能 - 没错 -Oh, no, no! Oh, no! -Yes.
你是在说我们花光了毕生积蓄 Are you telling me that we just spent our entire life savings
就买了个歪的公寓 and then some on a crooked apartment?
噢 天哪 Oh, my God!
- 噢她会抓狂的 - 听着冷静点这没什么 -Oh, she's gonna flip. -Look, just calm down. It's nothing.
看看我在儿童房找到什么了 免费的滑板 Look what I found in the kids' room, free skateboard.
又得一分 免费的喂河马游戏 一次两分 Score. Free Hungry, Hungry Hippo. Double score!
- 我再去厨房看看 - 好的 -I'm going to check the kitchen. -Okay.
她怎么会没注意到 How could she not notice this?
这简直就像只剩20分钟就沉了的泰坦尼克号 It's like the last 20 minutes of Titanic in here.
我们必须要保密 We have to keep this quiet.
如果莉莉发现她梦想之家是歪的 If Lily finds out her new dream house is crooked,
她会心碎的 it's gonna break her heart.
免费沙拉滤盆 我爱死这个地方了 Free salad strainer. I love this place.
- 就先瞒她今晚好吗 - 好吧 -Just for tonight, okay? -Okay.
不过这将是场艰难的战役 But it's going to be an uphill battle.
uphill battle 上坡的战役 双关房子是歪的
我是说我们要从正确的角度思考 I am just saying we have to think of the right angle.
暗指房子的角度不正确
我还有一个梗呢 不过我还是闭嘴吧 I have a third one, but I'm not going to say it.
好吧 巴尼 我感觉我们像是跌入了某种 Okay. Barney, I think we've stumbled into some kind of
伦理哲学上的虫洞 ethical, philosophical wormhole.
- 绿西装 - 看到了 -Green suit. -Yeah.
我抛弃了马修和莉莉 I ditched Marshall and Lily
却得到了两个漂亮的女孩 and was rewarded with two beautiful girls.
这套西装可是绿色的 This suit's made of green.
我们甩掉了那两个美丽的女孩 We bailed on those two beautiful girls
却走进一片美女的海洋 and now we're being rewarded with a sea of beautiful girls.
长38哦 38 long.
这就像是宇宙中的因果报应正在反着来 It's like the laws of the universe are working in reverse.
- 能把这个记我账上吗 - 好姓什么 -Can you put it on my tab? -Yeah. What's the last name?
古里多 Garido.
好的 我来试验一下是不是这么回事 如果能行... All right, I'm going to try something and if this works...
- 嘿 - 嘿有什么能为你们效劳吗 -Hey. -Hey, what can I get you guys?
一瓶堂•培里侬 能记到我账上吗 Bottle of Dom Perignon. And can you put it on my tab?
堂•培里侬 法国名贵香槟酒
- 没问题名字 - 古里多 -Sure. What's the name? -Garido.
- 嘿伙计 - 噢对你说的没错 -Dude. -Oh, yeah. You're right.
来两瓶吧 Make it two bottles.
现在我们就等着看有没有什么好事儿... Now we wait and see if something good...
噢 你好 Oh, hello!
圣帕特里克节的传统 St. Patrick's Day tradition.
如果你没穿点儿绿色的东西 你就要被捏哦 If you're not wearing green, you gotta get pinched.
看来我要甘愿受罚了 Well, I guess I got what I deserved.
我也没穿绿色的东西 I'm not wearing green either.
这个是深青色的 This is deep teal.
- 是光线让它看起来．．． - 哦我叫泰德 -The lighting makes it... -Oh, I'm Ted.
我叫阿什莉 有两个E Ashlee with two E's.
指拼写
拜托 最多也就是C杯 Please, C's at most.
把两个E误解为罩杯
你们俩应该过来和我朋友一起 You know, you guys should come join me and my friends.
我们有一瓶龙舌兰酒 还有深到让你震惊的肚脐 We have a bottle of tequila and shockingly deep belly buttons.
好吧 看来就是这么回事 做坏事却有好报 Okay, it's official, do bad things, good things happen.
泰德听着 你听见了吗 是宇宙的声音 Ted, listen, are you hearing that? That's the universe.
宇宙在和我们讲话 The universe is talking to us.
我们不需要去建一个棒球场吧 We don't have to build a baseball field, do we?
不 宇宙正告诉我们 我们今晚有免责通行证 No, the universe is telling us that we have a free pass tonight.
宇宙说我们不用 The universe is saying that we don't
去担心...你还在听吗 have to live in fear of the... Are you still there?
是 我还在 Yeah, I'm here.
不用担心会因为我们的所作所为而遭到惩罚 The repercussions of our actions.
我们不需要等待明天 知道为什么吗 泰德 There is no waiting for tomorrow because do you know why, Ted?
根本就没有明天 There is no tomorrow.
没有明天 哈 No tomorrow, huh?
对了 古里多先生 By the way, Mr. Garido,
因为你点了两瓶香槟 your second bottle of champagne
我们附赠一盎司上好的的鱼子酱 gets you a complimentary ounce of caviar.
慢用 Enjoy.
- 没有明天 - 没有明天 -No tomorrow! -No tomorrow!
嘿 真想知道那些大人们正在做些什么呢 Hey, wonder what the grown-ups are doing right now?
我又赢啦 为什么一直是我在赢 I win again! Why do I keep winning?
也许只是因为你的河马比较饿 比我们的都饿 Maybe your hippo is just hungrier, hungrier than ours.
就是这样 这是因为这个 绝对不是因为地心引力 That's it. That's what is. It's not gravity.
这点是肯定的 我先跟你保证 That's for sure. I'll tell you that.
哇 这是怎么回事儿 Whoa! What was that?
这里出什么问题了 What's going on here?
好吧 莉莉 Okay, Lily.
你在别的屋里的时候 我和罗宾 While you were in the other room, Robin and I...
我们发现了这公寓的一些不寻常 We discovered something about the apartment.
其实也没什么 不至于无可救药 It's not a big deal. It's not... It's not like a disaster.
只是...只是有些事儿 It's just... It's something
我们以后得学着面对和适应 that we're going to have to learn to live with.
罗宾和我刚才见到鬼了 Robin and I saw a ghost.
什么 他是开玩笑的 对吧 What? Oh, he's kidding, right?
不 我们真的见到了鬼 No, we really saw a ghost.
它长什么样子 What did it look like?
就像一张白床单上面挖了两个洞 A sheet with two holes in it.
他曾是南联邦的将军 He was a Confederate general
在安提塔姆战役中负伤 who was wounded at the battle of Antietam
最后就死在军队医院里 and he died at the army hospital
那间医院从前就在这里 which once stood on this very spot.
现在他在大厅里到处游荡 And now he wanders these halls
发誓要向打倒他的联盟大炮复仇 vowing revenge against the Union cannonade that once felled him.
不过他看起来人不错 他是个好人 But he seems nice. He's a good... Good guy.
马修 在你眼里哪都有鬼 你在星巴克都见过鬼 Marshall, you see ghosts everywhere. You see ghosts at Starbucks.
那张肯尼基假日CD直接从架子上飞了下来 That Kenny G holiday CD just flew off the shelf.
上次是这样的 Last time that happened.
但是罗宾 你是怀疑论者 所以连你都说看到鬼了 But, Robin, you're a skeptic, so if you say you saw a ghost...
它直直的穿过我的身体 It passed right through
然后突然之间 我感觉很冷 非常非常冷 me and suddenly I felt cold. So very cold.
那个 阿什莉... You know, Ashlee...
对不起 你可能听了这个 I'm sorry. You're probably
会直接站起来头也不回地走掉 just gonna want to get up and walk away,
但是我还是想测试一下我这阵子发现的理论 but I just have to test out this theory I've been working on.
今晚 我对感情没兴趣 Tonight, I'm not looking for a relationship.
我真的是只想和你来个一夜情 I really just want to hook up with you,
在第二天早餐前就溜走 然后再也不见面 leave before breakfast and never see you again.
嗯 Hmm.
- 我同意 - 真不可思议 -I'm in. -Unbelievable.
哦 天 这肚脐真够深的 Hot damn, that's a deep navel!
- 没有明天泰德 - 对没有明天巴尼 -No tomorrow, Ted! -Yeah. No tomorrow, Barney.
没有明天 是吧 No tomorrow, huh?
这想法我喜欢 I like that idea.
因为如果还有明天 Because if there is a tomorrow,
- 我就麻烦大了 - 哦是吗为什么 -I'm going to be in a lot of trouble. -Oh, yeah? Why is that?
我结婚了 I'm married.
告诉我你们在是在吓唬我吧 Tell me you're messing with me, guys.
你们不是真的看见鬼了 You didn't actually see a ghost.
宝贝 这不是啥大问题 他看起来很友善 It's not a big deal, baby. He seemed friendly.
你说他是个南联邦的将军 他们都是坏人 You said he's a Confederate general. They're the bad guys.
- 而且他还有可能种族歧视 - 不他看起来彬彬有礼 -And he's probably racist! -No! He seemed polite.
他有非常文雅的南方礼节 He had courtly Southern manners.
这是我们未来孩子长大的地方 We're gonna raise our kids here.
我可不想让什么南联邦 I don't want some Confederate
将军的鬼魂教他们种族歧视 general ghost teaching them his racism!
他喜欢不同肤色和不同信仰的人 He loves people of all colors and creeds.
他只是为国家而战而已 He was fighting for states' rights. That's all.
罗宾说他披着块白布 你觉得那是什么意思 Robin said he was wearing a sheet, what do you think that means?
南北战争结束后3K党成员身披白布进行种族主义活动
- 罗宾．．．- 这公寓是歪的 -Robin... -The apartment is crooked!
什么 What?
我和罗宾没看见鬼 Robin and I didn't see a ghost.
地板是斜的 对吗 The floor is crooked, isn't it?
是啊 Yeah.
我们花了一生的积蓄买了它 We spent our entire life savings on this floor.
我们生命中接下来的30年都要为它还按揭贷款 The next 30 mortgage-paying years of our lives will be spent on this floor
它竟然是斜的 and it's crooked!
真谢谢你了 罗宾 Thanks a lot, Robin.
种族歧视的鬼魂哪里比倾斜的地板好了 How is racist ghost better than crooked?
真的 能不能有人解释一下好在哪里了 谢谢 Seriously, somebody tell me how that's better. Please.
- 哦对不起 - 哦没事 -Oh, I'm sorry. -Oh, that's okay.
哥们 我对这个理论还是有点怀疑 Dude, so I'm having second thoughts about that theory.
我告诉过你了 如果你想 I'm telling you, if you want
知道一个女人的年龄 看她的手肘就好了 to know how old a woman is, check her elbows.
- 不是那个理论 - 那你得说具体点泰德 -Not that theory. -Well, you have to be more specific, Ted,
因为我的理论实在是太多了 'cause I have so many theories.
那个"做坏事却有好报"的理论 The whole do bad, good things happen.
- 阿什莉结婚了 - 所以呢 -Ashlee is married. -So?
什么叫"所以呢" What do you mean, "So"?
打开你脑子上的油箱盖 老兄 Open your brain tank, bra,
因为我要灌输些91号的知识汽油给你 'cause here comes some Premium 91 octane knowledge.
偷情有三条法则 There's three rules of cheating.
如果结了婚的不是你 就不算偷情 It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married.
如果她名字里有两个相邻的辅音字母 就不算偷情 It's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels.
如果她来自不同区号的地区就不算偷情 And it's not cheating if she's from a different area code.
这三条你全都满足 You're fine on all three counts.
你怎么知道她来自不同区号的地区 How do you know she's from a different area code?
她是纽约郊区的 She's 516.
516是纽约郊区区号
她可能穿的像布鲁克林的 举止像纽约城的 She might dress like she's 718, act like she's 212,
718纽约布鲁克林区号 212纽约城区号
但是相信我 她是纽约郊区的 but trust me, she is 516.
哦 还有她丈夫 居然让她在圣帕特里克这天独自跑出来 Oh, and her husband letting her out alone on St. Patty's Day,
如果他不是新泽西人 我就是307来的 if that dude's not 973, I'm 307.
973新泽西区号
- ３０７是怀俄明 - 噢 -Wyoming. -Oh.
我们得把所有的家具都钉住 We're gonna have to nail down all our furniture.
我们没法儿买弹球机玩了 We won't be able to get a pinball machine.
我是说 除非我们放些 I mean, unless we put some
书在桌腿垫一下什么的 books under two of the legs or something.
但万一我们又想看那些书呢 这真是噩梦啊 But then, what if we wanna read those books? This is a nightmare.
我们不能在这养孩子 他们会长斜的 We can't raise our kids here. They'll grow up slanted.
如果我们有个女儿 我们就得叫她阿斜了 If we have a daughter, we'll have to call her Ilene.
女名"Ilene"与"I lean"我倾斜 同音
我觉得我们不能住这 马修 I don't think we can live here, Marshall.
我也不知道该怎么办了 I don't know what we're gonna do.
马修 把门开开 Marshall? Open the door.
如果我能滑出门外 就得5分 If I make it to the door, that's five points.
好啊 Yeah!
5分 Five points!
赌10块钱我能倒着滑出去 Ten bucks says I can do it backwards.
莉莉和马修最终决定以最乐观的心态面对困境 So Lily and Marshall decided to make the best of a bad situation,
而这也是 and that's also how the
公寓滑板运动的来历 sport of apartment roller luge was invented.
小心 千万千万小心 哦 耶 Very careful, very, very... Oh, yeah!
她已经结婚了又怎样 她又没有小孩 So she's married. It's not like she has kids.
你怎么知道的 How do you know?
看手腕啊 你把我的话都当耳边风了 Wrists! It's like you don't even listen to me.
- 哦嘿 - 嗨你刚去哪了 -Oh, hey. Hey. -Hey. Where'd you go?
- 好吧我只是．．．- 是因为我刚才说的话吗 -Well, I just... -Was it something I said?
不 不是的 只是 你结婚了 No, no, no, it's just... Well, you're married
我们又一直喝个不停 所以我担心 and we've been drinking and I was worried we might...
哦 这真是个糟糕的主意啊 Oh, this is a very bad idea.
- 你给我过来 - 嘿嘿 -We have a problem. -Hey, hey, hey.
- 这是你老公吗 - 我之前从来没见过这人 -Is this your husband? -I've never seen this man in my life.
好吧 怎么了 Okay, what's our problem?
我是瑞克 瑞克•古里多 调酒师说 Rick, Rick Garido. According to the bartender,
我帮你买了一整晚的酒啊 I'm the guy that's been buying you champagne all night.
好吧 让我简单的解释一下 Okay, there's a very simple explanation.
然后我啥都不记得了 直到警察出现 Next thing I know, the police show up,
他们逮捕了那个人 they arrest the other guy and
我继续喝了一晚上 一个子儿都没掏 I'm drinking for free the rest of the night.
真是太棒了 It was awesome!
- 棒嗯哼 - 是啊 -Awesome, huh? -Yeah.
你没发现这个故事有什么问题吗 You don't see anything wrong with that story?
好吧 我不知道把新手机丢在酒吧的啥地方了 Well, I lost my new phone back at the club somewhere.
你到底有什么毛病 老兄 What the hell is wrong with you, dude?
你知道我的 我经常丢东西 You know me, I lose things.
你吻了一个已婚女人 泰德 You kissed a married woman, Ted.
你涉嫌信用卡诈骗 You committed credit card fraud.
你吻了一个已婚女人 You kissed a married woman.
你知道那对我来说有多无礼吗 Do you know how offensive that is to me?
你正在变成巴尼 我们不需要第二个巴尼 You're turning into Barney. We don't need another Barney.
可这是圣帕特里克节啊 It's St. Patty's Day!
- 事情没有听上去那么糟糕 - 事情没有听上去那么糟糕吗 -It wasn't as bad as it sounds. -It wasn't as bad as it sounds?
- 是的 - 哈那好 -No! -Huh? Okay.
你来听听看到底什么样 泰德 I want you to hear exactly how it sounds, Ted.
第一条消息 First skipped message.
我可没在这根手指上看到订婚戒指 I don't see no ring on this finger.
然后昨晚的一幕幕开始浮现出来 And then last night started coming back to me.
真实的版本 The real version.
里面的女孩比我们带来的还辣吗 Are the girls in there hotter than our dates?
我不知道里面的妞是不是更辣 但是肯定更醉 I don't know if they're hotter, but they're drunker.
嗨起来吧 Rock and roll.
- 我一共发了多少．．．- １７条 -How many messages did I... -Seventeen.
孩子们 有时候你可能以为 Kids, it's sometimes possible to think
自己在生活中做的还不错 you're doing just fine in life.
下一条消息 Next message.
能把这个记我账上吗 Can you put it on my tab?
- 好姓什么 - 古里多 -Sure. What's the last name? -Garido.
然后某个人让你稍微睁开了眼睛 And then someone opens your eyes a little bit
然后你意识到... and you realize...
下一条消息 Next message.
我真的想和你来个一夜情 I really want to hook up with you,
在第二天早餐前就溜走 然后再也不见面 leave before breakfast and then never see you again.
你的世界都失去了平衡 Your whole world is off balance.
下一条消息 Next message.
乱了套 Out of whack.
好吧 哥们 让我简单的... Okay, look, bra, there's a very simple...
倾斜了 Crooked.
哇哦 Wow!
真的很难继续听下去 That was hard to listen to.
没人喜欢自己在答录机里的声音 No one likes how they sound on an answering machine.
谢谢你这么做了 Thanks for doing that.
你刚才吼我了 You yelled at me.
你对我态度强硬 自信满满的 You got very firm with me. Very confident.
很酷 It was cool.
谢谢 Thanks.
你吼人的时候很性感 马修 You're very sexy when you yell, Marshall.
别说了 Shut up.
脖子上的静脉 还有那紧张的肌肉 Veins, crazy muscles in your neck.
就好像一匹在肯塔基德比赛上获胜的骏马 You're like a Kentucky-Derby-winning steed.
好气氛快被你毁完了 You're ruining a nice moment.
在某个时刻 我发誓 我以为我们会接吻呢 At one point, I swear, I thought we were going to kiss...
泰德 认真点 Ted, seriously.
我已经结婚了 I'm married.
哦 斜的地板 Oh, a slanted floor.
从建筑学上讲 要修那个可是会... Architecturally speaking, fixing that's gonna be...
非常 非常 非常的贵 Very, very, very expensive.
而且还需要花不少时间 And it's going to take some time too,
所以大概我们还要赖在这 so it looks like you're stuck
更久一点点 如果可以的话 with us for a little while longer, if that's okay.
你在开玩笑吗 我喜欢你们在 Are you kidding? I love it.
没有你们这些家伙在身边 I don't know what's going
我不知道会干出什么蠢事 to happen to me without you guys around.
- 你去哪 - 去找我的倒霉手机 -Where are you going? -I'm going to get my stupid phone.
这就是2008年的圣帕特里克节 So that was St. Patrick's Day, 2008.
许多年后我才发现你们的妈妈也在那个派对上 I found out years later that your mom was at that party,
只是我没遇见她 I just didn't meet her.
说实话没见到是个好事 You know, it's a good thing I didn't.
因为当时如果见到了她 我觉得她不会喜欢上我 Because if I had met her, I don't think she would have liked me.
见鬼 当时连我自己都不喜欢自己 Heck, I don't think I liked me.
但是没关系 明天已经到来了 But that's okay. Tomorrow had arrived.
其实 虽然我还没有意识到 但我已经要开始转运了 You see, I didn't know it yet, but my luck was about to change.
我帅呆了 I'm awesome!